i’ve always been captivated by horses.

not particularly to ride them, as i had an embarrassing moment a couple of decades ago.

but there’s something wild and free about them. their mane, careless and recklessly wild, flowing ever so freely with the wind.

there’s something attractive about just letting your hair down, allowing it to be free to move with the direction of the wind.

oh to be wild and free.

it got me thinking – what if i didn’t have a care in the world… what would i do? but why do we think like that? why not think who would i be?

i want to be reckless in my love, wild and free with who i lavish love on.

i feel sometimes love is so calculated and friendships so measured.

i desire to be wild, free and reckless as i seek and pursue the trail of sweetness, beauty, grace and kindness of my lover, my saviour.

i’ve been getting in the habit of taking a quick reset (which for me means having a quick surf) and today after i got out of the water, i wrote this poem.

i’ve only ever written perhaps a couple of poems in my life… so for those of you reading, please go easy on me!

this is dedicated to my friends (you know who you are) who are going through a rough time at the moment…

a love poem from my best friend jesus…

maybe one day i might put some music to it 🙂

come away with me
let me caress you
shower my love on you
my thoughts are with you
i long to be with you

come away with me
let me refresh you
soak in my presence
let me wash away your worries
show you the things that truly matter

come away with me
let go and fall
in the safety of my arms
let me embrace you and hold you tight
i understand all you are going through

come away with me
lean on me
i will hold you steady
there is nothing to fear
i am always by your side

come away with me
find peace in me
let me comfort you
for i know you intimately
i will never leave nor forsake you

come away with me
rest and know that
with every breath you take
the depth and width
of my love for you grows

come away with me
there is no time wasted
spent in my presence
my dear child
there is nothing i won’t do for you

this last month has been a real time of flux. one day into my new living arrangement, i felt this real sense of space. it was strange, it wasn’t like i had miraculously found more hours in the day…. but i felt like i had so much more space. i was doing the same things each day, but yet it felt so much more spacious! my brain felt more spacious, i felt i had more physical time… and i begun to realise just how much mental, emotional and physical space was being consumed because of my previous living situation.

physical environment plays such an important role in one’s life, and i am continually learning what impact this has on me.

it’s strange, if you have met me in the last 3 years, you would think i’m constantly on the move, as i’ve moved 3 times in the last years! (trust me, it’s not a very nice process). however, prior to that, i’ve pretty much lived in the same suburb for 15+ years.

i hope that this new place will be called home for a while… i have to say i’m spoilt by this amazing view… just the other day i woke up and felt like i was being treated to a visual buffet!

there’s a lot of life reflection that occurs when i’m surfing.

i love being surrounded by water, and it seems to be when i’m in contact with water that i think the clearest. when i’m at my happiest.

i went out yesterday for a much needed surf and as i was out the back, waiting for the waves to come through, there was a lot of hustling amongst the surfers. there weren’t that many rideable waves, and there were a lot of surfers huddled in the same area. it was getting pretty crowded for a work day!

“he’s getting all the waves”, a female surfer whispered as i said good morning to her. “i’m trying to follow him so i can catch all the waves too”, she added.

i know exactly what she means – in fact, i typically think that in my head. but that’s when my joy is destroyed. you see, surfers all have different boards so different waves suit each board. we can never be in exactly the same position in the sea, in the exact same position where they wave comes, and besides, we all have different surf abilities.

it would have been so easy to be annoyed at that point of time, but that would have just stolen the fun, the pleasure i feel when being in the ocean. and it had been a long time since i was out surfing, and i was determined to enjoy this precious time.

“he must be in a good spot then”, i replied… and then consciously paddled so i was out of hearing range from her.

i realised that comparison steals the joy out of living your own life. it robs you out of living fully in that present moment.

live your own life, cos’ everyone else’s life is taken!

it occurred to me today just how blessed i am.

last night, i watched the colours in the sky dance, changing every second in a magnificent show at sunset in a beach 5 minutes drive away.

this morning, i completed my 38th surf of 2019. 38!!! to put that into context, that’s more than the surfs i did in 2017 and 2018 combined.

just how did i get here?

i distinctly remember listening to a podcast a few years back, where the interviewer asked the guest how they decided to make their move to live at a different location. it was there that i realised that freshwater beach, otherwise known as freshie was where some of my best memories were. it’s renown for being a great beach for beginner surfers.

at the end of last year, i dared to let myself dream. and that dream was to live close enough to freshie so i could walk there barefoot with my surfboard in hand from home.

so, i start plotting my move to the northern beaches. there were many obstacles and twists in the way that i almost gave up. the pressure was on as my current rental lease was up, i had multiple changes of plans with flatmates, and after going to rental inspectations every saturday for 3+ months, there just didn’t seem to be any appropriate properties in my tight budget.

looking back at it now, i’m so glad i persisted.

to someone out there who’s reading this blog post – dare to dream! cos’ you just never know what’s on the other end.