“i bought my house in an elevator” – said no one ever!!

seriously though, when was the last time you heard someone buy anything in an elevator? elevators, being a metal box don’t even have great mobile or wireless reception, so it’s not even conducive to online purchases!

seth godin posed a challenging question this week – why then do business owners end up focussing on creating an elevator pitch if no one has ever bought anything in an elevator?

that’s a good question. i have to admit, i don’t think i’ve stopped to think through why an elevator pitch is important. i just assumed it was something i needed because the “experts” said so. it might be important, but the point i’m making here is not to blindly accept what others say is right. instead, ask why?

i was a shy asian kid fresh out of university. during the first week of my first paid job, my boss pulls me into a meeting. nervously, i reluctantly stagger into his office, racking my brain to figure out what i had done wrong this time.

“the next time we have a meeting with external vendors, i want you to ask a question. don’t just sit there silently. ask any question. i’ll be there … ”

day after day, week after week, he would confront me after i was silent in meetings. i wasn’t blatantly trying to ignore his orders. but i wanted to look intelligent and not reveal my stupidity by asking a silly question.

years later, i now realise his logic. he was teaching me to think and ask good questions. and there’s only one way to ask good questions – is to start asking questions. any silly question. just get in a habit of asking questions and the fear of looking silly will fade. often, what you think is a silly question is the exact question everyone else has but is too afraid to ask.

i like what tony robbins said – “if you want to raise the quality of your life, then start asking yourself quality questions.” 

what question are you asking yourself today?

it’s definitely not the way he picks his butt that i admire him for. or the fact that he fastidiously lines up his water bottles on the court after each warm up. or that he sweats profusely.

rafael nadal’s character and work ethic is what makes me a huge fan. in most recent interview after winning his first 2019 title in rome, he says

“i don’t care about winning 6-0 or 6-4 over djokovic. the victory is the work i do everyday, more than winning titles.”

“you work mentally when you go to the court everyday and you train. you don’t complain when you play bad, when you have problems, when you have pains. you put on the right attitude, the right face. you are not negative about the issues that cause you to play bad. you go on court everyday with the passion to keep practicing. that’s the mental work. i’ve done that all my career. not being frustrated when things are not going well. not being too negative. that’s why i always have the chance to be back. and now here we are, an important moment, an important title, and now is the moment to keep going.”

even uncle toni, his previous coach is motivated by rafa’s desire to constantly improve.

it’s about doing the daily work, the hard slog, even when you don’t see the immediate results. but with every day, you’re building character, consistency, the right attitude.

that’s been drilled into my mind lately – you can’t control the result or the outcome. but you can control what you do daily. you are responsible for your actions so stick to the process and decide to keep going.

having just got back from a surf today in less than ideal conditions, i can choose to give up, or i can keep going regardless of the wave conditions and practice in the whitewash. and when the conditions are better, i can hopefully see my progress.

thanks rafa for the inspiration yet again. vamos for the french open!!

so, what victory can you have today? what work can you do today?

i quit something this week. and it created more space in my life. i felt lighter and freer and i didn’t realise how much emotional energy it was sucking from me until i finally made the decision to eliminate that thing out of my life. had i trusted my gut instinct, i would have done it a lot sooner and saved myself all that grief!

last year, the world was fixated by the konmari movement of decluttering our homes. no doubt, part of the success of marie kondo’s methods was that by decluttering our physical environment, it would also make us feel more at peace, in turn creating more space in our lives.

i’m all for adventure and experiencing new things to expand my thinking. however, if i keep adding new things to my life, then it only makes sense that i will need to eliminate some stuff in my life.

i first heard about this concept of quitting things regularly, through bob goff. every thursday, he deliberately quit something to eliminate noise in his life and “let the symphony have the stage again”.

maybe instead of focussing on setting goals every year to achieve something new, we might be better quitting 52 things in a year. who knows, it might bring greater clarity to what’s truly important in our lives.

“ouch.  oh wow.  that feels better.  no wait.. hmm, my head… oh boy, what’s happening?”   lucky i was sitting down, as it felt like the world was spinning.

that was my reaction when my chiropractor cracked my neck and spine.  i’d been in a lot of pain, and knew it was time for a slight adjustment, for realignment.  but this adjustment spun me out and i was feeling a bit dizzy.

“its your parasympathetic nervous system catching up with your sympathetic nervous system.  i’ll just give you a minute for your nervous system to settle”.    the chiropractor then proceeded to explain what was technically happening pointing to the skeleton in the room, at the same time giving me time to settle.

in plain language, my head needed some time to catchup with what had just happened.  to process what had happened.  to catch up with reality and for my head to match the realignment that had just happened in my body.  for my head to register and catch up to my new normal.

it took a mere five seconds for the adjustment, and about a minute or two for the nerves to settle.  and realign and adjust to my new normal.

i wonder – with the crazy fast paced lives that seems to be the acceptable norm in culture nowadays, how many opportunities for adjustment were simply missed because there was no space to breathe and realign?

sometimes, the realignment is so tiny.

you might have all 99% right, with only 1% needing realignment to be back on track again.

when’s the last time you took some time out to look at your life and review what has been going on?

for highly driven people, it’s sometimes easy to move from one thing to the next.  without much breathing space in between projects.  i feel like in today’s fast paced society, busyness is almost a holy grail, signifying importance.

this last month, i’ve been blessed with the luxury of slowing down.  i’ve rediscovered my love of reading, started writing again and journalling more, prioritised time to reflect, explored new places, surfed on my new board, prayed .. and gave myself time to just let the tears out and heal.

i created space to go back in my “time machine” and review 2019 so far.

i’ve realised the importance of acknowledging, accepting and embracing my strengths.  i got to know myself better and learnt ways of how i can enrich my soul daily.  i’m not sure how long this current season will last, but this space has given me a bit more clarity for the next season of my life.