“i don’t know why she puts up with him.   i hope that after today’s incident,  she leaves him”

that was the conversation i had with a friend earlier today, as we discussed why some nice people end up being together with jerks.

it brought me back to a movie i had watched, and a line i’ve quoted numerous times –

“we accept the love we think we deserve”

when i first heard this, i pondered over that statement a lot… and it prompted me seeing things slightly differently.

do you agree with this statement?

in a way, a lot of how we live our lives is driven by what we think we deserve.

i’m not too sure if i want to loudly proclaim i was born in singapore, especially after watching crazy rich asians.

there were many bits i could identify with, others i definitely couldn’t (the “comfortable” part). i have to say going to the cinemas with an empty stomach was probably not the best idea as i was salivating looking at the delicious hokkein mee, chilli crab with fried man tou, satay, even durian!  i did actually have ponder for a second wondering how much a cheap scoot flight back to singapore would cost just to eat the food i was seeing on the screen… oh, and of course, to see my family 😛

one surprisingly thing i did have to say was that i realised just how asian i am… as banana as i say i am.  the topics raised, though wildly exaggerated, were something i am sad to say i could strongly identify with.

i’ve experienced too many of the scenarios vividly illustrated in the movie – a parent wanting the best for their kid and thinking their other half wasn’t good enough for the family, a grandmother saying rude things to future family members, being constantly asked whilst overseas to come back “home” to take over the family business, oh and of course the topic of money has to be addressed… perhaps a lot could be summed by the quote i’m confident every asian kid has experienced – “god forbid we lose the ancient chinese tradition of guilting your children”.  i curious to figure out how many asians kids have ended up in therapy processing that guilt, realising they “will never be enough”.

by far the biggest and most noticeable reaction from the crowd in the movie was when astrid profoundly said – “it was never my job to make you feel like a man.  i can’t make you something you’re not.”

it was nice to take a few hours to laugh at the rich chinese culture, though i do wonder – how many non-asians would get the full extent of the satire in this movie?  it is so cleverly put together i have to say i wish it wasn’t so accurate at times.

now back to reality… well, at least i’m a far way from singapore now

i’ve been fascinated for the longest time about being the best version of yourself, achieving, doing all you can with what you have.  i wouldn’t quite go as far as mae in the movie the circle, where she says that she is most scared of “unfulfilled potential”.

i’m not so much interested in what natural abilities or gifts or talents one has, but more what you do with what you are given, or born with.. or even harnessing that to the fullest potential.

yes, i’m constantly asking the question, “why”.  why do we do it this way?  especially when i can spot inefficiencies in processes.

what makes someone fulfil 100% of their potential, versus someone that say achieves only 10% … or dare i say, even less than that?  is there something that we (the collective community) can do to, perhaps an environment that can be cultivated, so that we help others reach their full potential?  call me a dreamer, an idealistic, but i have no doubt that the world will be a better place if everyone individually were living the full potential in every area of life.. their best life.

reading this article about heath ledger, i can’t help but be saddened that he didn’t live longer. it sounded like he would have impacted a lot more people if he hung around.  talented in everything he put his hand to… “he was really good at everything”, his friend wrote about him.   for those of you who are living in australia, i’m really keen to see this exhibition – if there’s anyone else interested, lemme know and we can head to canberra together!

and what’s the point of living out your fullest potential you might ask?  it’s not the end goal to get to that pinnacle, but for the benefit of others.

it always is for others.

so shine brightly…. the world needs you!!!